Thursday, the hospice nurse declared me “stable”. We do have a routine we follow most days, but she meant that she saw color in my face.
I feel very little pain. I’m taking just one-half the morphine dose I started with in September. It is doing the job and seems to affect my sleep not at all.
I am down to eating mostly liquids: soup broth, hot tea, hot chocolate, water, pudding, stewed prunes, canned pears or peaches. It seems my stomach is not capable of digesting much.
The two medications Hospice prescribed for my irregularity problem seem to be working well. Hospice also prescribed Lorezapam, a liquid form of Ativan, for anxiety. It is also used for a sleep aid. I don’t think I need the sleep aid, at least not yet. So,we are slowly lowering the dose; maybe I can stop it completely.
I have very few complaints about my sleeping. I can lie comfortably on my back now after many years of pain from lumbar stenosis pain when lying on my back. I am very grateful for that mysterious turn of events. I’m in bed by 9 pm and sleep until 8 am the next day.Then, I usually take a 2 hour afternoon nap.
In spite of my antidepressant, I often feel down, especially on cloudy days. There are many things I can no longer do. When I allow myself to brood on some of these, it really takes me down. I know I’m walking into a blind canyon, and I do my best to ignore that far-off fact. So, I try to think of some near term activity to anticipate and concentrate on what’s positive about today.
When I’m up and alert, I read the front section of the Post, or at least the headlines therein, a magazine article, or a chapter in a library book. I watch the TV news in the evening. We also watch programs we’ve recorded, e.g., NOVA. I’m house-bound, especially in the winter cold. So, we enjoy visits from friends and/or neighbors at happy hour time. My drink of choice these days is a small cup of hot chocolate. I’m still getting around on my walker in spite of my legs getting weaker.
Our Leesburg family came for a Christmas lunch and gifts on Friday. Heidi made cinnamon rolls, a favorite, for breakfast Christmas morning. And, one of our wonderful neighbors shared plates from their Christmas Day dinner.
This Christmas holiday season is a time we both have much to be thankful for.
Happy holidays to one and all!
Love, Heidi and Bob